Red Alert: New Enterprise Decloaks; 20 Minutes of Abrams' Trek Described

Well, I don’t know what to think anymore. Some UK journalists got the opportunity to view 20 minutes of scenes from the upcoming Star Trek reboot, and at least two very detailed, very spoilery reviews have made it to the web. And honestly, it amazes me that 2 people could describe the exact same footage and yet illicit such very different reactions from this humble reader. Martin Anderson made the scenes sound so terrible (this despite the fact that he prefaced the shot-by-shot spoilers by saying it all looked “sensationally great”) that I fell into despair. When I later read James Dyer’s take on the material, he made it sound less ridiculous and lame. I can’t even figure out if JJ Abrams was being an arrogant creep or not. All I know is, it’s going to be a looooong 6 months until release day if I keep obsessing to this degree.

A few quick comments:

I immediately bristled at the thought that Abrams thinks that no previous Trek has fulfilled the “promise of adventure” before his movie. Does he really think that highly of himself that he is the great savior that can do what Gene Roddenberry, Nicholas Meyer, Leonard Nimoy, Ronald L. Moore, Robert Hewitt Wolfe, etc and so on apparently failed to do before him? I wish I could’ve heard his comments directly, because Anderson makes it sound like he thinks all 1,000 or so hours of filmed Trek to date are crap, while Dyer makes it sound like he was just referring to the cheesiness and low budget of TOS.

The scene descriptions sound very slapsticky and silly. If the Farrelly brothers filmed a Trek parody, it might have giant inflated hands and a guy grabbing a woman’s breasts accidentally during a barfight. Too bad Jim Carrey is pushing 50, sounds like he would’ve been perfect for this part.

I’m sorry, but in both write-ups, Kirk just plain sounds like a douche. I mean, just the opposite of what a hero would be. Are we gonna warm to this guy, or root for the Romulans to set phasers to “kill”?

Speaking of Romulans, the last scene seems to confirm that the Starfleet officers do in fact see Romulans and therefore must know they resemble Vulcans: a clear, blatant contradiction of 40 years of established Star Trek history. Ugh.

Also Bruce Greenwood is a little too old to play Pike. Jeffrey Hunter was about 40 at the time of “The Cage”, and looked younger. Greenwood is 52.

Since I really don’t know what to make of this anymore, I have to turn to the ever-reliable Talkbackers at Aint-it-Cool, who are never without definitive, forceful, and often quite witty opinions. In case you don’t want to wade through the whole thing, a few comments that struck a chord with this ambivalent fan:

Abrams Trek will tank
by MasterShake Nov 11th, 2008 10:04:35 AM Who the hell is he making this movie for? It can't be the old school Trekkies who've kept the franchise going for 40 years with their support and money. Call me a basement dwelling continuity nerd all you want, but the Enterprise built in Iowa on Earth? Chekov on Pikes Enterprise as a member of the bridge crew? Kirk as a malcontent badboy? This isn't a just a re-imagining, it's a big FU to anyone over 30 who's followed Trek at all over the years. It's teen angst Trek aimed at grabbing a different demographic than the increasingly older audience that has made Paramount over a billion dollars. If you're new to Trek you may love it, but it sure won't be my Star Trek.

It may not be "your" Trek, but let's face it...
by MCVamp Nov 11th, 2008 10:28:33 AM The people of "your" Trek are either dead or really, really old. An animated continuation will not be taken seriously. Another spin-off will experience the rapidly dwindling interest from TNG to DS9 to VOYAGER to ENTERPRISE. No one except the die-hards read the books. You want your franchise to continue? This is THE ONLY WAY. And if you just want it left alone for dead, you have the option of making your own personal choice to recognize it as such. Would it kill you guys to see brand new faces at your conventions that aren't just the offspring of other Trekkies?

Robert April called, he wants his ship back
by muziqtwin Nov 11th, 2008 11:38:57 AM The benefit of my doubt, already strained by the casting of that talent less, repugnant homunculus Zachary Quinto, is now officially revoked. Pike as the first Constitution-Class Enterprise captain? Built in Iowa, not orbit? Inconsequential details, perhaps, but by that same token, it would have been just as easy to have them canonically "correct" and still tell the "new" story.

Why is it even called Star Trek?
by EverythingEverywhereStinks Nov 11th, 2008 12:08:45 PM Mind boggling...this film will be a failure of spectacular proportions. The only people this movie will appeal to, in a very crowded and competitive summer movie marketplace, will be bored moviegoers waiting for the next weekend's big movie opening. Longtime fans will disown this film for trying to erase everything that preceeded it, and it will not be the huge relaunching of the franchise everyone expects it to be. Either that, or this pseudo-Kirk Dexter wanna be will murder us all ;)

Critch, I'm not a Liar -- it's "Top Gun" in Space
by Admiral Nelson Nov 11th, 2008 12:24:14 PM I've got friends (fans of the original series) who worked on the new film and have read the script, and that's their exact description of the film. What part of "sportscar" and "bar fights" doesn't sound like "Top Gun" (more like "Hot Shots") to you? And again -- if you don't believe me now, then remember that I told everyone the Enterprise does a BSG-like "atmo dive" in the film -- a plot detail not yet released. I know what I'm talking about, dude -- this film is going to infuriate TOS fans, because it completely ignores established Star Trek canon, and no one at Paramount gives a shit. It's a total reboot of the entire Trek universe, dude, so be prepared for it.

As a side note...
by grandadmiralsnackbar Nov 11th, 2008 12:33:50 PM If Paramount got it, they would have kept the writers and producers for Enterprise's 4th season on board for something. The problem was that the preceding three season were so shitty, that the show was mortally wounded after the Xindi arc was completed. That 4th season was pretty bad ass and represents what the whole series should have been.

What part of this sounds good?
by conspiracy Nov 11th, 2008 12:52:25 PM Kirk Fondling Uhura? Bar fights? Kirk Driving a car over a cliff? Enterprise being built on earth? So this is all about being a slapstick simplistic comedy, Tween angst, O.C. Flavored Roadtrip in space? Sounds like more Abrams crap too me. I'll steal it off of Limewire if i watch it at all.

You think it's dead now?
by Wonderthump Nov 11th, 2008 02:05:53 PM Wait till Abrams digs it up and rapes it in May. Not only are mainstream audiences going to avoid this film but so will the fans. My prediction is it will have a big opening weekend due to all of the marketing it will take to convince numbnuts teens to go see it . . . and then boxoffice will decrease faster than the Dow under Bush. That will seal Trek's fate for years and years.

Being a fan of the original TV series...
by football Nov 11th, 2008 03:52:46 PM ...this doesn't sound too bad with regards to the clothes and cast. It's the character of Kirk that has me slightly worried. He sounds like a self-absorbed prick you'd rather slap than root for, which could ruin the chances of building a credible Captain Kirk to take this reboot to places it couldn't boldly go before. If the audience ends up wanting to plant one on our hero then they're hardly going to want to come back again. Word to the ediors: cut the Kirk groping Uhura bar scene. It's a cheap laugh and will only make most people think Kirk's a bit of a creep! You'll have a better picture without it.

"Top Gun In Space"
by Darth Busey Nov 11th, 2008 08:34:19 PM Some of you fucktards are saying this like its a bad thing. Top Gun fucking ruled.

Well then! At any rate, I’m curious as to how other people are looking forward to the upcoming Trek film, with trepidation or excitement? Will Abrams succeed in making Trek a powerhouse again, or wreck the franchise for a decade or more? Taking a cue from Matt Cerrone over at Metsblog, who charts the ebbs and flows of fans’ enthusiasm for the team, I decided to start running a poll (see sidebar) on a weekly basis to chart whether fans are feeling good or bad about what they’re hearing concerning the new film. One things for sure: discussion in Trek fandon will not be dull over the next six months.

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